Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
