before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
