Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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