Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
