hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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