Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
