let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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