This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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