enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
