Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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