i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
