Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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