Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
A+ Viking dick
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
