If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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