The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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