After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
