we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize