no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
