so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize