Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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