Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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