Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
