I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize