So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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