But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
