i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
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the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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