I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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