i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
