awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
