she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
