you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
