im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
