Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
