I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize