There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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