But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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