Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
