ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
