Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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