we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
