It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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