it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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