if you like me you must not know who I am
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
