i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
