His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
