Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
