I heard we made out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Still dying that you shit outside
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
