Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i drank out of a bidet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
