he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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