I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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