Just fell off a train. Bad.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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