who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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