You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize