So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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