He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
