I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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