everyone is single if you try hard enough
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
the liver wants what the liver wants
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize