I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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