she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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