I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
