How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You need a sexual gate keeper
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
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