i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
