i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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